FIFO

When I worked at Panda Express many years ago, I learned about the concept of FIFO. *First in, First out.* This is the rule that when you change food, cups, anything really...you first remove the current stash, put in the new stuff, and put the original stash on top, so that you don't end up serving 4 hour old food to someone. Somehow, FIFO seems to also apply to pay day as an adult. I swear payday used to be a really fun day. Now, I log in and immediately set up our income to fly out all different places. Before my MC last fall, I was really great at budgeting. It came naturally to me, and I got a weird thrill out of it. Then, when I lost that baby---something broke inside of me. I keep a spreadsheet now, and even though it's fairly basic, sometimes I just want to slam my head off of the wall...because it seems.so.complicated. I wonder, will my ability--let alone love--for making the numbers zero balance ever return? I'm thinking when the medical bills end, I'll feel a little less overwhelmed. Right now there's like 6 different areas they are coming from--so it feels worse than it really is. Also, having 2 traffic citations and 2 car repairs in one month was pretty rough--nothing like $200 in citations and $500 in repairs to really throw a wrench in things.
Remember when I was 15 and my entire paycheck could go to rolls of film, disposable cameras, and developing said film? Or when I was 17 and it went to Mudd Jeans, gas to travel to Youth activities and seeing my Ohio folk, and getting my nails done with Val and Ash. I'm really just whining. Chris and I still get to go out a couple times a month and have really nice dates. He is a mini-mart addict. We have enough to fill our needs and some of our wants. This is mainly the ramblings of a women who has been staring at acolor coded spreadsheet one too many times this morning.