T-13 hours

I just folded a big load of clothes for the boys that have been donated by family and friends. Thank you so much for ensuring that my twins will not go naked the first few months of life. Joye surprised me with a super soft and cozy robe and slippers set. I never thought I'd meet a robe softer than the one Chris bought me when I had Ava...but this one just may be. I'm excited to sport it in the hospital. Surely, I will have the prettiest blue coziest robe in the world.

Simon has been anti-bed time. Real shocker for all moms of 2 year olds I'm sure. Ava was excited about the babies coming tomorrow and went to bed at 7. Simon, however, woke her up about 10 in his efforts to avoid bed time. He eventually fell asleep by the door. I'm proud of myself for not giving in. I'm a sucker big time for his sad sad cries and super curly hair and snuggles.

Ava tried for an hour to go back to sleep, but is now up and watching Santa Clause 2. I have until 3am to eat or drink to my hearts content. I'm thinking I should down a gallon of water in an effort to keep my veins from disappearing. We'll see if my efforts will work. Or if I get past the first 8 oz. heh.

Ok I'm slightly more than anxious about the next 4 days. I will miss my Si-guy and Jayners like crazy. Ava has promised to come visit often. Please pray that my kids will be good for my family that is kind enough to cover my absence. Here's to seeing my boys in 13 hours.

Mommy Daughter Dates

I used to take Ava for dates all the time, but we haven't had an "Ava/Mom" date in a long time. Tonight, we went out for a bit. We went to return somethings to JCP, and then headed to the mall for pretzel bites, soda and playtime. She always begs to do the photobooth, but since it's $5, we've never done it before. Tonight, we splurged. It was worth it, and way fun! It may become a part of the date tradition. We also went into Bliss-the formal dress store for little girls. They had high heels for little girls. I'm talking honest to goodness heels. They were ADORABLE. Ava tried on many pairs, and some fancy dresses. She may be getting a pair for her 5th birthday. She wanted them SO badly, but I just wasn't ready to see my little girl walking around in heels. I may request a grandparent get them, since as a mom...I just feel weird buying my 5 year old heels.

Dear Santa

I can't think of anything to put on my Christmas list. Honestly. Usually, I love to stop for Christmas, but this year I am blank. For over a month I've been trying to compile lists for myself, Chris and the kids, and I finally came up with about 8 things the kids mention over and over ...and am still at a loss for me and the hus. So here's the deal...just skip Chris and I.

Thanks for online shopping, I got Simon his angry birds. He's going to be so freaking excited. Now to figure out what it is that Ava really wants. I don't even think SHE knows.

Don't mind me...I'm just whining.

I try really hard at times like this to be grateful. I mean, so many women don't make it to 36 weeks in single pregnancies, let alone identical ones that have been through TTTS. The past 3 hours have been excruciating...and the "buck up and be grateful you're this far" is losing in my mind. I just want to scream GET OUT SO THAT IT WILL STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!! My brother informed me that my boys have officially stayed in utero 8 weeks longer than his Joseph did. That's incredible isn't' it? And yet, as I sit here, struggling to breathe, belching minty gas-x burps, I can't help but wince at the idea of another week. I didn't think I'd get here to be honest. Not to 36 weeks, but to the "I'm so done!!!" phase. I read post after post on the multiples forum of people whining and complaining. All the while thinking, this really isn't that bad. My pregnancy with Simon was SO.MUCH.WORSE. (this is still true) But today, ...today has been a day where if the contractions started and were the REAL deal, not just the cruel BH fakes....that I'd be a little more relieved than worried. Seven days isn't that long. And since it's 1am, I can officially say 7 days. Today is technically Monday, and by Saturday-I'll be to "full term." I'd prefer, however, if these boys are going to stay put, that they do so through the Thanksgiving holiday so that we have a Lactation Specialist on hand when they arrive. I have no idea how to go about nursing two babies and shudder at the though of some poor 17 year old CNA trying to teach me. None of this "holiday" birth stuff ok boys? Either come out by this Tuesday, or you're staying put until the 28th deal? great! Now, kindly pull your foot out of my ribs, and your head out of my hip and we'll be grand!

FIFO

When I worked at Panda Express many years ago, I learned about the concept of FIFO. *First in, First out.* This is the rule that when you change food, cups, anything really...you first remove the current stash, put in the new stuff, and put the original stash on top, so that you don't end up serving 4 hour old food to someone. Somehow, FIFO seems to also apply to pay day as an adult. I swear payday used to be a really fun day. Now, I log in and immediately set up our income to fly out all different places. Before my MC last fall, I was really great at budgeting. It came naturally to me, and I got a weird thrill out of it. Then, when I lost that baby---something broke inside of me. I keep a spreadsheet now, and even though it's fairly basic, sometimes I just want to slam my head off of the wall...because it seems.so.complicated. I wonder, will my ability--let alone love--for making the numbers zero balance ever return? I'm thinking when the medical bills end, I'll feel a little less overwhelmed. Right now there's like 6 different areas they are coming from--so it feels worse than it really is. Also, having 2 traffic citations and 2 car repairs in one month was pretty rough--nothing like $200 in citations and $500 in repairs to really throw a wrench in things.
Remember when I was 15 and my entire paycheck could go to rolls of film, disposable cameras, and developing said film? Or when I was 17 and it went to Mudd Jeans, gas to travel to Youth activities and seeing my Ohio folk, and getting my nails done with Val and Ash. I'm really just whining. Chris and I still get to go out a couple times a month and have really nice dates. He is a mini-mart addict. We have enough to fill our needs and some of our wants. This is mainly the ramblings of a women who has been staring at acolor coded spreadsheet one too many times this morning.

Mikey-blue eyes

Yes, I dressed this way on purpose. Why? Who knows.

Mikey had this ex that was cr-A-zy. We took fake engagement pictures at 15 and mailed them to her. Again why? hahaha who knows.

My very bestest guy friend from my youth is getting hitched. I still remember the day that we met, and how incredibly rude he was! It was youth conference--we were in DC working on the temple grounds as a service project. We were placed in a 15 passenger van together. I was between him and Bobby Marion--a kid allergic to E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. A group of them were discussing Monty Python and quoting it. I had never seen it and asked what they were talking about...to which this boy looks at me and says "What do you live in a CAVE?!" I glared at him and had nothing witty to respond with. After all-how could I be armed with wit when I'd never seen Monty Python, let alone heard of it.

Later that day, as I walked by during lunch, he was sitting on the stairs with my little brother and a bunch of other people and suddenly I hear "Little Debbie you're the one--you make YC so much fun. Little Debbie I'm awfully fond of you." I stopped dead in my tracks. He smiled and you could feel and breathe the pride and cleverness he was emitting. I blushed. Again, nothing to respond with. How did this guy know my name--and how did I go from the cave girl to him writing a jingle with my nick-name? We spend the 6 hour bus ride back to the burg laughing and the next 4 years creating massive phone bills. HOURS of listing to him strumming his guitar, writing songs for the girl of the week (day) (hour). He would mock any and every guy I dated, and rightly so. He helped me learn to piece together my own heart when some idiot had broken it. We played horrible pranks on one another--and he only once ever remembered my birthday on his own. He and a handful of other incredible people, shaped me and gave me the skills to survive the hell that is being an awkward teen--and hello reference above pictures, I was awkward. And although it's been years since we've spent any amount of time together, and he was by far the worst prom date in the history of prom dates-- I still regard him as one of my dearest friends. To my little Mikey-congrats on your upcoming wedding and I hope to find some sucker to take on my 4 kids so that I can come celebrate this day with you and your new wifey! I have to admit, your real engagements are far better than our fake ones. Horray for pro photographers ;)

First Snow

Our first real snow this year was pretty intense now that we live on the mountain. Here are some photos. I took them as a "thank you" for my Grandma Simon-who bought my kids their ultra warm winter coats. They are from "Herbergers." THE place to shop. Oh how I wish we had one--but my husband and bank account are equally grateful that we don't. The kids were pretty sad that the snow has melted, but I assured them there will be plenty to go around soon. Simon is requesting Cheerios, so off I go.

Kissing Tonsils

Well, we have an answer as to why my little Simon turns into a complete terror about 2am. He has what is known as "kissing tonsils." I was going to add an illustration here, but they are all pretty nasty ...so I'll let your curiosity guide you to finding your own. Most kids tonsils will shrink, and even disappear, however..in Si-guys case, his are so large, that they are touching. He can't breathe when we lay him down. This is why he passes out so easily in the car, and why at 2am he wakes from snoring and is so completely pissed at the world. The last week has been especially awful since he has nasal congestion. He can't breathe from his nose or his throat. I hadn't taken him into the doc, because he hasn't had a fever...and so I figured there was nothing they could do. But after the past 2 especially horrendous nights...and having an incredibly awful 2am fight with my husband, I realized I needed answers.
We were fortunate that they ENT that did his tubes had an opening about 15 minutes following his prelim appt where the doc said "Wow. Those are huge. and Gross. Let's get them out." Their first opening for surgery, however, is December 2nd. Four days after my scheduled c-section. I could choose between that date and January 6th. I took December 2nd. I recognize that I'll be leaving the hospital on the 1st or 2nd if I happen to deliver on the 28th, as we are currently scheduled. But how could I condemn my son to an additional month of not being able to breathe? I called my MFM doc to see if we can push back my c-section 1 more week. Usually, in the case of mono/di twins *(where they share a placenta, but different sacks) they don't like to go beyond 37 weeks, because the placenta begins to deteriorate. So, coming out becomes safer than staying in. I'm hoping, however, that if I can keep them in....that they'll let me delay at least a few days. If there's any time to have him in, I guess it'll be nice that we won't be sleeping anyway right? I am at a bit of a loss here. But, as Becky will tell you, wallowing in my guilt for not figuring out this was the issue sooner is pointless. Instead, I made the call and if they say "no" at least I've done my part...and heaven help Chris and any family member that comes to help us. We'll have twin infants and a 2 1/2 year old recovering from surgery. ROCK ON.
I'm hoping and praying that this procedure will help him to sleep and feel better. He's such a good kid during the day-although he's only operating on 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. I think he's such a trooper.

Cutest Shower EVER

If only I could be in charge of photographing my own shower. Things got crazy, and I didn't get all the photos I wanted to, and am sad that a lot of the cuteness isn't captured. But, here's what we managed to photograph before the camera was sat down. I am really sad that the gift table wasn't photographed. They made these adorable decorations and so I'll be using them to decorate the boys nursery---should we ever set one up. ;)

Elephant Gestation Juice

On with an update, since it has been a while. I live by my google calendar. Especially since my brain is over run with twin pregnancy hormones. I don't expect my once awesome memory to ever return, and so I have handed my life to google. As I was adding special things to remember about Ava's kindergarten class --I realized I have 18 days until my scheduled c-section. UHHHHH my denial has been fairly deep that this pregnancy will end. I'm probably the only pregnant woman--or only mulitple twin pregnant woman who would be perfectly content with an elephant gestation time frame. In case you didn't know, Elephants are pregnant for 22 months. While I'm sure I wouldn't want to continue expanding for an additional year, the extra 12 months to prepare and get my life "together" would be nice.
I thank Gilmore Girls for this bit of trivia


My baby shower is this Saturday. Also...our listing expired. The big question...now what? Well...uhhhhh....I'm keeping that for the next post because i have no idea.

Ech bin ein Liebster

So, I received an incredible award today from Becky at Cinderelladuty.blogspot.com It's the Liebster award. My little brother would be super impressed that I would be honored with a German title I'm sure ;) I'll admit, I feel slightly pressured to update my blog more than ...oh 3 times a month with random rantings of a woman with crazy but cute kids. The idea that her readers, are being encouraged to come read the rantings of my mind are a bit ...humbling and terrifying. So, Hi, um...welcome and please feel free to utter "wow, this chick is nuts" at any time.

Now I am to award my favorite blogs with this awesomeness.
The rules for the Liebster Award are:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Choose 5 up and coming blogs with less than 200 followers who really stand out.
3. Reveal your top five picks (& why you picked them) and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
5. Have faith that your followers will spread the love too!

*drum roll please*

Understanding Prematurity-Amanda Knickerbocker -We grew up traveling the greater Pittsburgh area at insanely early hours of Sunday mornings with our fathers in order to meet more LDS boys. She grew up to marry my Peter Ford and became a mom to 2 remarkable children. Her daughter was born 23 weeks 6 days into her pregnancy, and this blog began as a way for Amanda to first grieve and process. Now, she uses it to educate, encourage, and inspire other moms. She has a gift for expression and continues to amaze me every day with her courage and ability to do so much.

I'll probably be killed for this, but my next suggestion would be my sister-in-law, Becca Her posts are down to earth and funny. She inspires me to remember to embrace the woman inside, and give the jammies a rest. Also, her son was recently diagnosed with aspergers and she has begun to chronicle their journey through this. He is an amazing boy and I adore him. He and Simon are only 2 months apart, and Ava can't get enough of him when they are together. She has such strength!

and my third choice goes to Photogrpahy by Lee Ann I have no idea if she falls in the "under 200 followers" rule. I'm going to guess "no," but since there's no way to prove it, she is getting the award. I am a lover of photography and pretend now and then that I have a clue about what I'm doing. My favorite thing is that I can tell you what is WRONG about a photo, or its editing. This does not by any means infer that I can do it correctly, but I'll be the first to say "ew overly saturated...too much exposure....they needed a smaller focal length etc." One photographer that I adore every photo she creates is Lee. I met her through a forum of LDS mothers that I was once a part of. She inspires me. She's a sweetheart. Sometimes when I'm sad, I go to her blog and view her recent photo sessions. Unlike a lot of pro photographers, she is editing the night of her sessions and I love that. I can never wait more than an hour to check out our photos and start making something with them, and it's nice to see that excitement doesn't have to die once you're a pro. I hope to get to her level one day.