Thursday, October 21, 2010

When Did Halloween Get So Fancy? - Other -

You've GOT to read this. SO hilarious.

By Jon Acuff

When did Halloween get so fancy? Did we vote on that? Was there some sort of meeting I missed? In general, I do my best to avoid attending meetings, so it’s possible that everyone got together and decided that Halloween would become some sort of fancy, expensive holiday without telling me.

When I was a kid, only the weird guy in our neighborhood “decorated” for Halloween. He put out some homemade gravestones and fake spider webs and played the inevitable “Monster Mash” over a cassette tape. We all smiled at his curious decorations, but inside, we thought he was kind of strange and probably smelled like pickles.

Now, though? Everyone is decorating for Halloween. There are inflatable pumpkins, giant spiders, zombies, and hay bales with witches cackling on them. There is literally a cornucopia of expensive ways you can trick out your yard for Halloween. In celebration of—I’m not even sure—free candy, maybe? Is that what we’re celebrating each October 31?

Speaking of candy, that got all fancy, too. When I was a kid, 50% of the houses on my street gave out “homemade candy.” And by “homemade candy,” I of course mean “apples.” People gave out apples and the most flavorless popcorn balls you can imagine. They were like eating yellow attic insulation. But that’s what we did. We didn’t get all fancy with our candy or put out bowls with little signs that said, “Please only take one piece per person.” (Which is adorable, by the way. There’s not a kid on the planet who only takes one piece in that situation. Their hands are like little cranes.)

And somewhere down the road, we started to bag the candy. Instead of just dropping a single pack of Milk Duds® in a bag, we actually put three different kinds of candy in a plastic bag and give them that. Some houses even give out full-size candy bars!

The bags are another issue. When I was young, I had to carry my candy in a plastic pumpkin that held approximately 14 pieces of candy. Now, kids carry pillowcases. You can fit 57 pounds of candy in there! Unbelievable.

The costumes have gotten crazy, too. For about five years running, my parents made me be a drifter or a hobo. Which basically meant they forgot to get me a legitimate costume. So, three hours before Halloween, they put me in some of my dad’s old clothes, rubbed some charcoal on my face, and gave me an old fedora to wear. Ghosts were also a popular option, since that costume only involved a sheet and a pair of scissors. Whole thing cost about a nickel. Now, though, kids get crazy, complicated Spider-Man outfits that actually shoot out web. Or Star Wars costumes with real working light sabers.

What happened to the clowns and the ghosts and the hoboes?

Where did it all go wrong?

How did we all get so fancy?

And most importantly, is Flag Day next? Will that be the next holiday that gets expensive and complicated and covered in Spider-Man webbing?

I’m not ready for that, and hopefully you aren’t either.

Stay sane this Halloween. Stay on budget. And stay away from popcorn balls. Those things are awful.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Be it ever so humble...

This weekend was amazing. Chris and I dropped the kids at my parents about 6pm on Friday night and started our weekend away. We drove down to Casa del Cope in St. George.

We were both up at 6:30am Saturday, hahahahaha oh yeay for habits. I made pancakes, and we sat out on the back deck and watched the sun rise over snow canyon. PHENOMENAL. We spent about an hour or so navigating St. George in the S2000 around the St. George marathon, and stopped for lunch at Pancho and Leftys. From there, we headed back to the house for a little siesta. OH NAPS-how glorious ye be. We headed for Vegas about 4pm. Due to the time change--which I had totally forgotten about--we had about 2 hours to kill in town before val's flight came in. So, we headed to the outlets to find Chris some new VANS. He hasn't had VANS for about 3 years, and decided since his NB are about shot, that he was ready to go back to the super comfy ever lasting VANS. We found the coolest pair that are like a turquoise teal/black. They rock. We also got him a new belt, since he's lost about 6 inches on his waist in the last year. We scored a reversable leather belt at Wilson Leather outlet and a new coat for me. Originally it was $140, I got it for $30. HOLY CRAP. It is bright yellow and adorable. I love it. We had so much fun just walking around and snacking on AUNTIE ANNE'S PRETZELS---oh how I've missed you. Please come to Utah ASAP.
Due to my awesome navigating abilities, we got a bit lost on the way to the airport by taking a left that should have been a right. Eventually, we found our way to VAL!!!!!! I ended up booking a hotel that was about 5 miles off the strip--ooooooooops. But it was cheap and nice. We dropped our gear and braved the drive back to the strip to show Val the sights. Chris and I rode the rollercoaster at NY NY--so-much-FUN! We were STARVING and most of the places were closed so we ended up eating at a cafe in one of the hotels. Our waitress was 65 and stoned or something. SO WEIRD. The food We walked around until about 2am when we all decided I was way too grumpy to put up with. My bedtime is 10pm.
Sunday morning we hit the breakfast buffet, and then drove down to the Stratosphere and went to the top. Chris was totally wanting to do the 900 ft free fall, but just as we got there, they closed it due to high winds and rain. CRAP! We went up though, and man it was high. I am a bit relieved that he didn't jump. I don't think I can witness my husband jumping off a 900 foot building. Even if he is harnessed. NO THANKS!
We drove back up to St. George and showed Val around Snow Canyon. We spent about an hour hiking. She was in love. Who wouldn't be? We didn't have much time, as it was about 4pm when we got back to that area, so we headed back to northern Utah about 6pm. We got to my folks house just before 11pm to pick up our sleeping kiddos. I swear they had grown 3" each. I realized as we loaded them up that I had really really missed them.
We are so happy to be home--thanks to a dear friend, I walked into a 100% perfect house. I about fainted. Everything was so beautiful. Thank you to my angel. I was happy to sleep in my bed with my whole family home, and Val downstairs.
I woke up this morning to Ava knocking on the bathroom door--Chris had just finished his shower.
"I NEED IN THE SHOWER--I JUST TOTALLY POOPED" oh it's good to be home! :)

Friday, October 1, 2010

my perfect weekend is about to begin...

My folks are taking the kids this weekend. I'm dropping them off today. Chris and I are headed down to St. George, and on Saturday.....We are picking up VAL!!!!!!!!!! in Vegas. We may even stay at Treasure Island. Sunday, we'll show her Snow Canyon, and the Entrada and fill her brain with so much Red Rock madness, she won't be able to stay away. We'll head back up here Sunday night, and she'll hang up in our place Monday and Tuesday and fly out Wed. Many adventures are to be had, and I cannot express how extremely excited I am to have a weekend with Chris and to see my VAL!