Tuesday, May 29, 2012


From time to time, Chris has really insane nights.  And by insane, I mean he thrashes all about in his sleep.  Once, he jumped out of the bed onto the dresser.  I've been punched a time or two over the last 7 years, as his arms flail about.  It can get pretty wild.  It's not very often, maybe twice a year, however, I've been in the way enough that it freaks me out to have the babies in bed with us sometimes.  I had fallen asleep with Austen in bed, when I woke to Chris thrashing about  just slightly.  I didn't want to take any chances, so I scooped up Austen, and carried him to the pack and play and set him next to Carter.  Well, that was not Carters favorite idea.  I must have interupted the worlds greatest dream and disrupted his comfy zone, because he woke up and woke up MAD.  Carter is my sweet gentle happy child.  The only time I've ever seen him mad, aside from tonight, is before a big seizure.  I tried feeding, rocking, burping.  I did get one pretty good sized belch out, but he was still ticked.  I took him downstairs, and it seemed the only way he relaxed is if I was holding him against me, walking.  Suddenly, inspiration hit a good 30 minuets into my pacing--a Snugli.  I strapped it on and have been walking around the kitchen for the last hour.  The screaming stopped. Calm.  And it looks as though he finally is back to sleep.  I'm not sure what it is about the snugli.  Maybe it's the way it positions them that makes the tummy pain subside, But, when Ava would have inconsolable times as a baby, strapping her into the snugli and walking 99% of the time did the trick.  I also hit him up with a small dose of advil.  The question now, is, do I dare take it off, or should I just lay on the couch with him strapped to my chest???

Monday, May 28, 2012

photo op!

Thank you to Missy and her "mini-me" trio for meeting up with me tonight.  Our original location didn't pan out, but they were so much fun and flexible to just wander the streets of O-town, and I could not be more excited about the results.
If you want to see my top 25 picks, they are on my facebook photography page.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Sometimes, ranting online about what a mess my house is and how tired I am, is just the motivation I need to clean it all up. I found this photo online and laughed hysterically. It's exactly how I feel.  I worked my butt off (oh how I wish that would really happen...well, if I could choose to work anything off by cleaning it would be my muffin top) to get this place awesome...and I will go Bat Crap Crazy on the person who messes it up!

What is the POINT?!?!

I have lost count of the number of times I have spent multiple hours cleaning my house this week.  But, honestly, it is a disaster.  It doesn't stay clean for more than 10 minutes anymore.  My children out number me, and they've figured it out. Example? While I was feeding the babies, Simon filled the tub with toilet paper and tooth paste.  Creating a massive paper mache in my bath tub and now it's in need of some serious liquid plumber.  Later, that same day, as I was cleaning the downstairs, he emptied 3 boxes of baby clothes all over the hall way.  They all know there's 4 against 1.  They're all equally pissed that they don't have 1:1 attention anymore.  They are all finding ways to let me know that I'm failing.  I look around the house and that is what I see.  Not a mess, but failure.  Because, usually, a mess just means I haven't been around to clean up.  But I have...every day...spent at least an hour getting it clean.  The fact that my kids have no respect for that time and effort and CONTINUE to just drop and go with their stuff...shows that I've failed to teach them respect for their belongings and respect for me, their mother.  I'm not really sure how to fix it. 
Aside from that, Simon was up from 3-8 last night. He had nightmares and night terrors, where he's screaming in his sleep and thrashing about.  So that meant the babies were up most of the night too. Chris is sick, so he was upstairs getting rest since he has to work today.  Ava woke up about 15 minutes after the boys fell asleep and every 15 minutes asks for a friend to come over.  I look at the house and think HELL TO THE NO.  No one is coming over when the house is like this.  I don't even want to be here.  Aside from that, my head is pounding and I can't see clearly, because I'm so incredibly tired that the room is spinning. Daddy took the car today,doesn't get home for at least 6 more hours... and since tomorrow is grocery day, we're down to rice, easy mac, and 1/2 a gallon of milk. wish us luck.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Lately, I struggle with sleeping at night.  Don't get me wrong. It's not about a level of fatigue...I just can't fall asleep.  I've tried everything, aside from drugs.  I'm getting close to popping a PM pill just to break the cycle.  For some reason, my brain feels the need to run continuously.  This must end.  If you have any ideas, please...I beg you.  Share!

I bought a rice maker a few weeks ago.  Can I just say how in love I am with it?  It's been a couple of years since I've had one, and I am realizing that I really really missed it.  It makes perfect rice, every time.  All I have to do is push the button down. No settings. No issues. Easy clean up.  It's better than a toaster. 

 My grandma Molly took a fall a couple of weeks ago, and is in the hospital.  My grandma HATES the hospital. I know what you're thinking...all Grandmas hate it there.  But no, she hates it more.  She's a chain smoker.  She goes through a few packs a day, easy.  There are not enough patches in the pharmacy to settle her need for nicotine.  Plus, there's the fact that no one can sleep - because nurses have to check on your every hour to be sure you're alive.  I love nurses. I love night nurses most-because I know many and they rock.  They are who ensure people live.  So to the extent that my grandma hates you night nurses, we love you, and then some.  She's getting severely depressed, as she's looking to be in there a long time.  She broke 4 bones in her back, including the tail bone.  So, Ava and Simon put on their Doctor dress up today and we are making her some Get Well Cards.  Cheesy? Yes! But she's asking to just let her die, so we're really just trying to remind her to fight.  That she's loved and not alone.  To get a decent picture of my Si-Guy requires about 30000 attempts.  The kid's #1 phrase to me is "No, I don't want you to take my picture!"  Plus, when he is in the mood, he blinks at all the wrong times.  But, I am excited that he was extremely photogenic as a doctor.  He wore it all day.  ALL. DAY!  I'd better start a coin jar for med school. 

Sunday, May 20, 2012


You know what I love?  What I really really love?  Going out with my camera, and a friend and taking photos.  Beautiful photos. Coming home, dumping my cards...and seeing that very little editing is required.  I love that. I love the thrill. I love feeling the pride.  I love amazing myself with how far I've come.  I know that I have so much to learn before I'm able to be a pro, but I am improving.  Thank you M, for your faith in me.  For bidding on my service and then actually cashing it in.  I feel inspired. I feel passionate. I feel alive!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Hogle Zoo May 2012
About 2 months after we closed on our first house, we found out we were expecting Ava.  I didn't want to send my new baby to daycare, but we couldn't afford to lose my income.  I was so blessed to have an amazing boss who decided that 99% of my job was internet based, so I could work from home.  I spent four amazing years working from home.  This had amazing benefits, but one of the things that always pained me, was that while our neighbors were going to the zoo, the park, the aquarium, and other various adventures, my kids were being told "Sorry. I'm working." " Just a second, I'm working."  This didn't permanently damage them (that I know of.) 
When I found out we were having twins last year, I knew I had reached that point where juggling a 40 hour work week and kids was no longer going to be possible.  My kids went to day care a few days a week.  Ava loved it so much, she went every day. Her teacher was amazing, and I credit her for how well Ava is prepared for school.  Simon's social skills greatly improved.  They weren't totally emotionally stunted after all.  Sure, we contracted RSV and pink eye.  Illness is a 100% possibility when you're with a ton of kids every day.  I'm sure kindergarten will be no different in this respect.
I left my job almost a year ago.  I spent 5 months on "bed rest."  Tuesdays were our adventure days with the Keopples.  She opened our world to the Dinosaur Park, Kangaroo Zoo, cupcake shoppes--thanks for that by the way. 
So now, the weather is glorious. We have a twin stroller.  I am adventure mom.  Some people think I'm crazy that I'm hauling 4 kids (5 and under) all over.  But the truth is...if we don't have an adventure, it's hard for me to get out of bed.  I want to lie there and snuggle my precious twins. I want to shut out the rest of the noise.   I get lost in how easy it is to love and be loved by tiny babies.  The tantrums and struggles of a 5 and 3 year old overwhelm me, and I just struggle.  I also want my kids to have these memories.  To go to the zoo. The aviary. The dinosaur park.  The train.  I want to do the things normal kids get to do.  I may over do it, but it's just so that they don't have an absent mom.

dad's little guy

Even though this is a year old, it's my FAVORITE of these two!

Lately, Simon has become extremely attached to Chris.  He sneaks into our room at 4 or 5 am.  In the past, he'd just wake us up and want to play.  Now, he just wants to snuggle up to him most mornings, so that daddy could keep him safe from whatever is scaring him at the mornings.  Most mornings,  I hear Simon cry out "I want more snuddles daddy!" and he wraps his chubby little hands around Chris's neck and refuses to let go.  He begs to go to work with daddy, or just anywhere. "Pweese daddy, pweese. I need your snuddles. I want to go wif you. I wuv you daddy!" over and over.  Chris was nervous, before we had Simon, that he'd have a son that was interested in all the things he never was.  And that his son would think he was lame.  But that couldn't be more wrong.  Simon adores his dad.  he wants to be JUST like him.  He tackles him. He hugs him. He cries for him.  He laughs for him.  He chases him around the house and follows him everywhere.  Simon loves to be a transformer, puppy, pteranodon, but mostly...he just loves to be Daddy's little guy.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I have about 10 posts that are unfinished...saved...waiting to post.  At the moment, however, my main thoughts are HOLY CRAP I'M DROWNING IN MEDICAL.  now, I realize I have many friends who would gladly swipe balances with me.  However, seeing the balance is still staggering.  The insurance is debating whether or not it's going to pay for Simon's second set of tubes. SERIOUSLY?! The kid was having constant ear infections and speech issues related to this condition.  I'm not sure I'm brave enough to take on UHC. But, I am also not equipped to pay SIXTEEN THOUSAND in medical. There. I put it out there. SIXTEEN. THOUSAND. SIXTEEN. It's a good thing I love our new neighborhood, because I don't see us buying/building a house next year.  I don't want to be an adult anymore. I want to put these statements into a tiny box and run the other way.  But, let's face it. Bills are like cancer. If ignored and left untreated...they will only grow consume every healthy area of your life--so here I am. Being an adult. And completely freaked out by it.  Bake Sale anyone? Oh wait...I don't bake.