Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What year is this?

Dear Banner Life
The year is 2010, and in case you weren't aware, 2010 is a highly technological age. The fact that you do not have the ability to pay a life insurance premium online--when you're a MAJOR provider, is nothing short of ABSURD! Your online log in is a JOKE. There's not even a secure log out feature. Consider yourself voted off the island. I am totally changing providers on Chris's life insurance.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

i know nothing

Ok, I take back everything I ever thought I knew about bedtimes and sleep schedules. Last night, by 8:30 the kids were sound asleep--and perhaps it's because I've become smug in my ability to transition through Day light savings time...that my morning came several hours early. Simon woke about 2am. I could have let him scream back to sleep--but there was something about his yell, that triggered he needed comfort. About 4am, Ava came into my room saying she needed to go potty. I applaud her ability to wake up vs just pee the bed. She then asked for a chocolate milk and so I stumbled down to get one. She wanted me to lay with her for a while so I did. At 5, she said she was still hungry, and wanted more I got her a refill. 6am she woke me up saying Simon was being loud and to go get him. Simon had woken up again and was MAD! I went back into my room where Chris was trying to help him. He didnt' want food, or milk or anything. He just wanted to be mad. at 6:45 Ava came in to tell us that Simon was loud and she wanted some breakfast. So, Chris and I gave up on the idea of sleeping and took them downstairs. I dosed Simon with IBUprofin, and some benedryl --because he's all congested. I went to the redbox and got Princess and the Frog. Simon fell asleep at 9 for his nap. It's now 10:04. I'm beyond dragging. Chris and I had a movie night last night so we didn't get to bed until late. I got about 3 hours of off on sleep. My eyes BURN! for sleep. Ava doesn't even SEEM tired. Tonight, when the kids fall asleep at 8, I fully intend to lay in bed until I too fall asleep.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


This post probably belongs more on the girth blog than here, but I was already signed into this here it lives.

I feel disgusting. And I'm totally wired. I'd pretty much given up soda the last 6 months, but this weekend we got some for Simon's party. I have had more coke zeros than I can even count. I'd forgotten how caffeine can keep me up for hours and hours long after I've had it. And even when I do finally sleep--it's restless. I am also parched. I've had a ton of water today to try to catch up with my thirst, but it doesn't seem to be working. Here is my pledge. No more binge eating and coke zeroing. (?) It's not good for the soul. the tummy. the weight loss (ugh no scales please) or the wallet.

I was concerned when I looked up at 7pm and could still see blue sky, that my kids bedtime would be difficult. I was determined that sun or no sun, their bed times stay between 7:30-8:30. I love my children, but they need the 12 hour sleep they get when they are down at a decent hour--and Chris and I decided that our marriage needed a couple hours a day that we can be together. If my kids are up until 10, they still get up at 7, but are cranky all day. I'm not sure why the magic 11-12 hours of sleep only happen if they fall asleep before 9, but I'm here to tell you it's true. Dinner was at 6:30 and 7:15 we did baths. At 7:45, I told Chris my goal was 8:00 for the kids to be in bed. I nursed Simon and he got Ava into jammies, dried her hair, read a story or two and by 8:30 both kids were sound asleep. TAKE THAT DAY LIGHT SAVINGS! I will be requesting that the curtains we just had to buy 3 months ago, finally get put up in Ava's room this week.

Simon's party went really well. At some point, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SIMON post will go up. First I have to sort through my pictures to find my favorites. What's a birthday post without pictures after all? He covered himself in bright green frosting--there are an insane amount of photos just from that. insane. Pam's quote "I wasn't sure what was funnier. Simon covering himself in frosting, or the number of pictures Deb kept taking of Simon covering himself in frosting" True story.

Off to take a tums or three and perhaps a benedryl?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A great day

Today is the first Saturday in months that I've spent with Chris. Usually, our Saturday goes a little something like this....
Kids wake us at an hour that isn't at all nice, for a Saturday
We spend an hour trying to convince them to snuggle back to bed--and then trudge downstairs in defeat--usually for Ava's chocolate milk.
About 10 am, Chris locks himself in his office with his computer, books and I get the kids ready for the day.
From 11-3 I take the kids to the tree house museum for a day full of Art Garden, Block Center, Participlay and dress up central. We usually meet daddy about 3:30 for lunch. Simon naps, Ava goes on forever strong and I lag behind--having spent all my day's energy either carrying or walking Simon around treehouse. 7:30 comes and I put the kids in the 'bed time routine' and if I'm lucky, about 8 they are out and I can see Chris again for a bit. At 9:30, we wind down with an episode of Leverage and passout.

Today, however, was different. Today was great. The kids--still woke up pretty early, but considering they were so cute, we'll let it pass. We played outside for a bit and were given some donuts from the Bilary fam ;) we went for a family walk to the park, and then Chris and I had some SUSHI! Then, Ava and Simon went swimming with my parents and Chris and I spent an hour walking backwards through IKEA--and even saw Donny Osmond. Seriously. My parents made a fab dinner of lasagna, yummy garlic bread, and mint cc icecream with thinmint cookies. hello! The kids were still in bed by 9, and we saw the season finale of Leverage tonight. Now, it's 12:13am and I'm wired. No treehouse, no tired mommy I guess. It was a wonderful day though. I loved being able to have time with Chris. Free dates are great! We need them more often. Time to be together. Time to talk and be best friends. It's so essential to making life livable!

My mind is chewing and racing over things Chris and I got to talk about tonight. I think he's suffocating as things are in our lives right now. He has so much potential and can't make any headway as things are now. I think it really is a big root to his anxiety. He wants to be able to grow and right now, it's winter all around. Making big changes is scary. I don't even know how to think about starting something new. All I know is that I love him and want him to be happy and confident and have satisfaction from the things he's doing with his life. I need to make that happen, or at least, be assisting and supporting in making that happen...but I'm having trouble finding Step 1. Why can't all of life be like the gospel? Grab onto the rod, hold fast, and though the path is rocky and rough, there is a PATH, that if you carefully and truthfully follow, you get to your desired destination. Outside of the gospel, much of life feels like the mist of darkness. Most of the time I feel like I'm walking in a dense fog, bumping into people I can't really see and hoping that I know where it is I am leading my family. I know where I want to be. I see it in my mind. But...where is the dang RAIL?!!? Am I alone in this craziness? Well...there are the other ladies in my head--heaven knows ;) but this normal?