perfect day

It's hard to believe that today turned into the perfect day. It started out perfectly anxious, but I honestly believe that through the prayers of our family, it became perfection.

Wednesday, Austen had his first breakthrough seizure. Thursday, Carter had one too. Then Austen had 5 more. Thursday was a very long and trying day. It's difficult to watch someone you love struggle and know there is nothing you can do to make it end. This morning, he had 2 more. One at 3 am and another just before 10. So, I put in a few calls to the doctor, and while waiting for a call back, requested a blessing for the boys. Ryan and Carl from our main Inwest office, stepped up to the task. Forever grateful for these fellas! We loaded up and walked over to the office and they administered beautiful blessings to each of the boys. Then, they made them smile. It was the first time I'd seen my boys personalities in 72 hours. Then, Keri offered to meet us at the doctors while the boys had their blood drawn. Dr Gagner had ordered labs for phenobarb levels to be checked to see if we were going to need to redose, or just wait out the storm.
After a few pokes the boys were successful in their lab draws (horray) and we headed off to the Nature park in Syracuse. We LOVED it here and will be doing family photos for the Toponces here very soon! (happy dance) The kids loved it too, but the fishermen were not all that excited for our noisy bunch, so we traveled onto the park by Keri's house for the playground. The sun broke from behind the clouds, and perfection melted into our day. We spent the next FOUR HOURS playing with the kids. Laying on the grass. Watching clouds. Photographing baby feet. Building sand castles. Laughing. Loving. Living. I love days when I am inspired and pick up my camera and then come home and it's exactly perfect. No editing required. Keri offered to take pictures of me with my kids. I love them!!!

What started as what I was sure to be another stressful and sad day, became a perfectly wonderful, lovely, beautiful day. Thank you to all our family and friends for your prayers. They were heard. They were answered. And we, in turn, were truly blessed!

little silly leprechaun

I have the BEST twins in the world! They've been everywhere this week and have been 100% cooperative with hanging in their new double stroller. (Carter and Austen-in that order)



So, this week has been pretty awesome. I mean--let's start with the incredibly weather. 70s? Sun? Yes please! This encouraged me to be quite adventurous, and I have to admit--I'm a tad burned out.

Thusday we spent a few hours at the West Haven park. This will be our major destination this year during great weather. Sand. Swings. Slides. Space to run and explore. YES! Becky and Hannah and little Ethan joined us. Can I take a moment to be mushy? The last year has been really hard on my two oldest. The last few months some amazing women (Rachel, Becky and Keri) have really made my life happier. I love these women and their kids. I couldn't ask for better friends for my kids and I'm so blessed that they take time to hang out with me and my kiddos. Heaven knows things get crazy and they love me in spite of it. There's nothing sadder as a mom to see your kid be lonely, to have her say "I just wish I had some friends.." Ava said these words to me just a few months ago...and now this is her life. Friends. Play dates. Laughter. So, Thank you for putting up with my insane self and letting your girls and boys love my girl and boys! I see many park adventures in our future.

We had a really fun week with the kids-especially since this is the first year we've hunted for leprechauns. Ava's kindergarten class had a fun day on Thursday trying to catch them, so Friday she and Jackie were hunting all over Jac's house for them. The silly leprechaun kept leaving little clues Ava and Jacs made some adorable traps. Keri and I got some cute ideas from pintrest (I'm starting to see the appeal of this site) and set off to target. We are shopping soul mates. We have the exact same tendencies that drive 96% of people in our lives crazy. Any time I want to go window shopping or real shopping, I now know who to call. We had a blast!

What did I learn from my first year of really celebrating St. Pattys Day? The idea of a leprechaun going potty in the toilet really freaks Ava out. She wasn't at all wanting green pee in her toilet. And she was sure to let him know that a green toilet bowl meant he'd get no gold.
It's all in the hunt. Having Mr. Leprechaun come first thing in the morning is really anti-climactic. Next year, he'll be coming in the afternoon after a whole day of hunting. Also, our leprechaun was a "helpful" guy. He snuck into Ava's room and bathroom and cleaned. This is something I think I will keep up for next year. Also, rainbow cupcakes are fun, but addictive. Thus my current sugar high.

Gateway Adventure

Today was the first day of the rest of my life. DRAMATIC MUCH?

So, while scrolling through my facebook newsfeed a couple of days ago, something caught my eye

"free day at the Discovery Gateway Museum-March 14th."

I sent Keri a text to see if she'd want to go with me, and being the brave soul she is, she said YES. So, today, we put together my snap-n-go twin stroller, and ventured to Salt Lake with 5 kids in tow. I have to say...we did pretty darn well!

My plan was to pick her up at 10:00, so of course this meant I was pulling out of my driveway at 10:05. We spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out how to make my babytrend stroller graco compatible--youtube worthy folks. Youtube worthy! We swung my Kmart for some lunchables and granola bars and made our way south.

The kids LOVED it. Ava and Jackie ran from place to place holding hands and laughing, "discovering." Simon spent most of the first hour a bit overwhelmed by the place. The twins were FANTASTIC and many people stopped to comment on how adorable they are. We spent time at every exhibit and I fell in love. My personal favorite is the Art Center on the 2nd floor. We spent a ton of time in there painting shamrocks. Do-a-dot paints are my new favorite, and are currently in my AMAZON.COM shopping cart. PURCHASE. I love one-click shopping--so addictive.

All in all we spent 3 hours at the museum, and only lost Simon once. I say this venture was a major success and gives me great hope to venture out again soon. I still think $100 is a bit high for a membership, but man I wouldn't mind going back again soon.

Messy House Annonymous

In December, my dear friend Becky (hey girl!) opened her home to the world.wide.web. She took pictures at random parts of the day of her home and even occasionally added captions and writing to them to point out flaws. She did this in hopes of inspiring us all to do the same. You can check out her exhibit and other amazing posts at cinderelladuty.blogspot.com I REALLY wanted to be a part of this, but I chickened out. I could say "Oh I was too tired I had 2 new borns and it was christmas and blah blah blah. I WAS TOO SCARED. Well, maybe it's the prozak but I'm ready to join the MOM EXHIBIT. So hop over to her blog, and check out my story

Happy 3rd Birthday Simon

If you've known my Si-guy for long, you know he has a thing for his boots. Boots that his sister received for her birthday when she was 2 1/2. Yeah it was the ONE year that I actually was on the ball and did Ava's party in the summer like I always say I will...but haven't since. Anyway...

The boots-pictured above, were rarely ever worn by Ava. She was more into the glass slippers that are also pictured above. However, the moment Simon decided to start walking, he claimed her boots. He put them on one day, his tiny size 3 feet into these size 7 boots and never looked back. He's been wearing them for 2 years, but sadly, the kid is about to out grow the boots. We have been struggling to get his feet into them the last couple of weeks. So, today, for his birthday...he was given NEW BOOTS!

But, it wasn't JUST new boots. It was an entire outfit. Wrangler jeans, belt buckle, shirt, hat and boots. He immediately wanted them on, and as soon as he was done said "I need a horse!"*yes the hat was too small for his giant head--and will be exchanged for a LARGE*

Clearly this is his signature photo face these days! I loved his birthday. The weather was PERFECTION! I made him pancakes this morning with a side of Flavor Blasted Extreme Cheddar Gold Fish. We set out at 12 for Union Station and spent 1.5 hours climbing trains, playing trains, talking TRAINS. Then we headed to Vintage Cupcake on 25th street for DIVINE cupcakes (chocolate cream cheese is my favorite--in case you're wondering) We got home about 2 and he took his nap. *(lunch is over rated right?) After naps, we grabbed some cheeseburgers and chocolate milk and went to Syracuse family fun center for bowling with the Toponces. MOST.FUN.EVER. Simon had never been before, and neither had Ava. He loved it. We will be doing this again very soon! Simon got 2nd place with 101. The kid had like 3 strikes. It was amazing. Then, we came home to the most delicious chocolate cake ever made by my dearest friend and mother in law-Sandi Cope. Who, by the way, loved on my twin babies most of the day so that we could have all of these fun adventures with Simon and Ava. The babies really needed love time with their Granni, and I really do believe that Simon and Ava needed a day with their mommy and daddy focused on them and their needs exclusively. Thank you so much, Granni, for all of your hard work. For the Thomas party goods and the best freaking cake in the world. An ADORABLE outfit, and boots that are sure to don the feet of our Simon for another 2 years. Today would have been a complete bust without you. So from all of us, we thank you for an amazing Simon birthday. BESTDAYEVER!

remember how I have pictures I promised? Well the befores have been shot...and the afters? Well...I'm STILL not to the "after" point yet. Life with 4 kids age of 5 and under. Zombie Mom comics portray this perfectly...

Mom Exhibit.

We've moved. again. We are now renters in a beautiful townhome. We moved over Valentines Day weekend. The first week, I was so awesome. I mean...epicly so. Laundry was being done in all stages. Every room was perfect before my head hit the pillow. Life was Mary Tyler Moore. And then, the sickness hit. Enter CHAOS.
I have spent the last week tripping over my feet *(and their toys) trying to restore order. I'm not sure it's even possible. I am making progress though. Today I managed to clean the bathrooms, kitchen, floors and thankfully the kids have kept their rooms clean the past 2 days. (a 5 hour battle of we're not leaving for playdates until your toys are cleaned up seems to have been well worth the hell). So now we are down to my room and bathroom-which are buried in laundry and "stuff." Looking at it, my brain can't even classify what it all is beyond "stuff." Laundry "stuff" Baby "stuff" somewhere are the papers for my taxes that still need my attention. Funny how the promise of a massive tax check refund isn't even enough to make me fill out the endless questionaires. And the bathroom-there's the hospital suctioner we have for Austen, the globs of shampoo Simon insists that he's "cleaning" the tub with. Oh wow. Thanks kid. The amazing closet, and the pile of clothes that need hung that are tucked in the corner in a nice pile. Let's do this.........mmmmmm Maybe I'll take a nap first, if only I could figure out how to get to my bed, and where it is under all this ..."stuff."

before and after photos to come.

writing out the fear

My latest second of excitement and ambition was "By this time next year, I want to be doing photography for real." You know, instead of for pretend. I want to be booking photo sessions. I want to be handing out cards. Or, you know, even possess some cards. I want to get serious about this. That moment of excitement was immediately followed by paralyzing fear.

This is not the first time this has happened-especially about my photography. Some fears-

• Uh...photoshop what? The last time I used photoshop I had braces, my nose was too big for my face and I still thought shaving between my brows was a good idea.
  
• What if I'm no good? What if I don't really have "an eye" or "talent" and what I do have is luck.
  
• Photographing cute kids makes getting great pictures a lock. Can I really just market good looking people and turn away the awkward?-how bad of a person does having this thought make me. Pretty bad.
• How does one even start a business? a business what? Taxes? Website? Marketing? UHHH RUN!!!!

See, my real fear isn't that I'll fail. If I try and fail, then really I'm right back where I started. With a lot of money invested in a camera and gear that sits on my bookshelf in a pretty awesome camera bag. what happens if I learn photoshop and I love it and my business takes off. I dont know anything about having my own business. I don't know anything about really succeeding. I've always done average (ok let's be honest, below average) in everything {other than my job at Inwest. I really rocked that}. I am terrified of success. I am terrified of tapping any potential I may have hidden in me.

But it would be awesome. So who knows, maybe I'll grow a pair-take a few classes, and by this time next year have my photography gig up and running.