journaling

I wish there was a setting on here that allowed some postings to be private...because I really feel that this is one post that no one else will fully understand...
I was raised in a home...where there were very little "greys" in life. You do or you don't. Right or Wrong. I understand now...that life is mostly grey, and there is very little that really is...all or nothing. However, that being said...I have an incredibly strong stance on certain things in life. Things I do not bend from. Rules I do not break, or bend. It's worked wonders for almost 25 years, there must be something right to it. When I met Chris...I found out that he was raised to see the grey...and to fight for it. I have learned so much from him, thanks to this. We had several debates...and they continue to this day. Sometimes I wonder...if we'll ever be able to present a united front for our children. At some point, we have to come together ...for them. I'm scared that will never happen. And what that means for our kids. How can they know what is right...when we, their source of guidence...walk different paths? To many--the things we differ on may seem TRITE, SILLY, OBSOLETE, but to me...vital. And each time we come to this T in the road of decision...it breaks my heart that we walk different paths. I am so stubbornly passionate about very little in life, but the issues I do have passion for, I am immovable. What will this mean for our future as a family? So many questions...with answers that may never come...or come while we're too busy to take notice.

my camera finally died...stupid batteries

this stuff smells--really bad. and the weird smell made me tired. i'm glad I didn't have to be closer to it.

This is the window in Chris's lovely new office!!!!!

This is the shower in the bathroom downstairs.

about 1:30--five hours into project

From the top of the stairs on the mainfloor--looking down

This guy has mad skills. Mudding/Taping all while sporting sweet stilts! Envy

Our playroom!!!!!!

Only uploads like 4-5 pictures at a time...yeay picasa.

It was at this moment--that I realized...we made the right decision not to DYI this project.


It only took 20 minutes for Jeff Johnson Drywall to get the ceiling up in Chris's office-mad skills

Measuring with pencils is for pansies. He measures with his exact-o knife. CRAZY!

complete dork out

So my drywall came yesterday. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool. Even cooler. 8am sharp, there was a very big knock at my door and Johnson Drywall was here to start putting it up. I've seen tons of Flip this House and endless hours of HGTV...and I must say, that this team...this the closest thing I've ever witnessed to being the same speed as tv. Within the first 20 minutes...I mean froma kcok at the door to me going downstairs to cover the server...there was a CEILING in the office. HOLY COW!!!! I'm so rediculously excited. 10 minutes later, they had already started the bathroom. INSANE. These guys are AMAZING. I asked if they would mind if I came down to take pictures--because I'm THAT big of a dork...the lead guy kind of chuckled and said it would be fine. haha. supreme dork award to ME

so the day of hate has ended. apparently I blog like a fiend when I'm hating on planet earth and its inhabitants.

my dry-waller called today, however, and said my sheet rock will come today and they'll start putting it up TOMORROW.

this is the best news ever

Thank you Karlie for the laugh!

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D.
Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my car keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the
counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, one of the kids left it on the kitchen table. I realize that after school when they go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote as they fight over who lost it, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So,I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up
the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers a ren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
when when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll update my blog.

due to:
a very tantrum filled daughter
having the clean the same #@$#@$#@ room 4 times...
Chris changing his mind again about the dresser issue
and all together hating life at the moment

we are not going to have the casserole I've been craving all day. I'm microwaving a stouffers stirfry...that is likely to be subpar at best and ....due to the red peppers a meal that I can't eat. life-5 deb-0

Yesterday was a rough day. I knew Saturday night that I did not want to go to church. Ava woke about 5am and came into our room. She went right back to sleep--however--I had so little space that I moved to her toddler bed--bad idea. I hate toddler beds. So uncomfortable. So I showered, went downstairs and had oatmeal while watching random HGTV. I went upstairs about 8:40 to get ready for church. I still had the feeling that I didn't want to go, but was fighting it...I'll be missing church for about 2 months, so I'm trying to be good about making it every week. Chris and Ava were just waking up. We made it to church, but were late. We sat in the back. It was so so so hot. On we went to sunday school. Ava was SO excited for nursery. Thank goodness she is in the loving nurseryn stage now and away from hating it. She handed over her treasured chapstick and started playing. Chris and I went to class--it was an awesome lesson. I am grateful that I had decided to ignore the 'skip church' feeling. Brother Harper is probably my all time most favorite teacher for Gospel Doctrine. Chris told me that he'd be going home teaching after church and handed me the keys. Again, I thought of grabbing Ava and going home early...but I pushed it out of my mind. I didn't do so well during RS. I was in the front row--and ended up waddling out part way through it...crying, from pain. I was so embarassed. People followed me out...and I was grateful for Melissa's kindness and hugs. She got Chris for me and NeaJean got Ava. I went home and about 30 minutes later the pain began to go away. Sean and Leah stopped by and somehow I missed them. They dropped off a care package with truffles and dr. pepper and a super cute hoodie for Ava. I'm pretty sure the truffles is what made me feel better ;) The pain comes and goes, but isn't as strong as yesterday. Nothing consistant...so I can't call it contractions...my next appt is this Thursday...which is when Mindy is having her baby YEAY!!!!! MINDY!!! <3 <3 <3

I'm grateful it's not contractions...because I'm really not ready. I went grocery shopping today, so I feel better now that we actually have food hahaha incase something happens. I just need to get things in order. The nursery needs the new blinds--and the pack and play needs cleaned and set up in our room...and I need to pack a bag---and yeah...way too much to do for baby to come any earlier than scheduled. I'm tempted to order my ikea stuff online and have it delivered--that way I don't have to walk around the massive store. ha. I'm LAZY!
Ava pulled out her crayons today and threw them EVERYWHERE...so we had a long game of clean up. She's pretty good about clean up. I'm blessed. tonight I'm going to make hilary's noodle casserole. mmmm I'm so excited!!!

happy engagement brotha

So mylittle brother is getting married to this lovely girl, Pam. Since my brother was registered for a study abroad program with BYU in May, they have a fairly short time to plan the wedding--however, this means a 4 month honeymoon in VIENNA, AUSTRIA! Being recently returned RMs and college students, they took me up on a joke that I'd do their engagements. They called up last night to see if we could meet today in Salt Lake to do some shots. Chris and I headed off and we hit up West Minster and some random areas in Downtown. Usually, when I'm pretending to be a photographer, I'm using my father-in-laws massive Nikon....but alas, he was in St. George, so I had to settle for using our not so cool and definately not so expensive canons. I still think we got some winners. The lighting was awesome, and being above freezing was nice. I have tweaked some of these in Picasa--because that's the extent of my photo tweaking software and knowhow...I've posted all my favs on my facebook and the raw images are on the picasa album. Pam studied Graphic Arts before her mission, so I'm pretty sure she can snaz up any photo we took to make it FAB! They were great to photograph--I had SO much fun.

basement progress

View from bottom of the stairs in basement to main floor door

This is peeking into the bathroom down there--we're not completely finishing this yet.

This is the east wall of the playroom and south wall of the furnace room area

This is chris's office.

Furnace room--fancy foil insulation--chris is pretty insulation anal

the full view of the playroom. yeay for toy space.

Heating--check
Wiring--check
Framing-check
Insulation-check
next up---drywall fellas

picture pages

Ava called up the stairs yesterday while I was working, saying she wanted to watch "OH OH OH""--Which is "Hairspray" for those of you unfamiliar with Ave's movie lingo. I came down about 2 minutes later to find her totally zonked out---standing---cuddling the DVD.


While my dad-Papi, and Chris were busy putting up insulation, Ava was busy being a princess. Her favorite things in the world---princess dress, slippers and MAKE UP! Isn't she gorgeous?

My dad put up 5 rolls of insulation in like...2 hours a couple Saturdays ago. We had GROSSLY underestimated the amount we'd need and only bought 5--which worked out well, because he had only 3 hours that Saturday.

Chris went around the basement and pulled out the insulation between the beams and the mainfloor. There were holes that had been drilled by the builder that were never filled allowing TONS of cold air into the basement. He filled them all and then replaced the previous insulation. It's made a huge difference. Chris was covered in tiny insulation--lots of itchiness. Lesson learned---long sleeves, gloves and mask are MANDATORY.

day off-not so much

Have I mentioned lately how AMAZING my husband is?
Last night...well, yeah that's a post all on its own. Suffice it to say, that my sister, KK, decided to come stay with us to tend Ava for President's Day. Chris had the day "off" from work and school, and with Melissa being gone on her cruise, I had watch guard duty on her email. Ava woke up about 1 am with growing pains in her legs. Poor little girl. YEAY for motrin. After about 40 minutes she was able to fall back to sleep. Chris was such an awesome sport, and sat with her--rocking her to sleep--and then stayed by her bed for a good hour to make sure she was out for good, all while I got to stay in bed in our room barely concious. Ava got up about 8:30 and was happy as a lark--seemingly unaware of her pain the night before. She was very excited to find Aunt KK still here. They had breakfast together-and then KK departed for her walk. Chris headed out about 9:30 to find a place to study. He likes to drive to a random spot and be off where he knows he can concentrate and be undisturbed. He came back home just before noon to set up study camp at the ol' kitchen table.
Joye came over and made her famous tuna sandwhiches, and we had tator tots and S&V chips. SOOooooo good. Chris put on his awesome BOSS headphones, and worked on homework for hours while we puttered around the house cleaning, and talking. Joye spent a good hour reading to Ava from her nursery lullaby book. That was so beyond precious. Every 30 minutes or so Chris would get up from the table, and head down to the basement to grab more stuff and haul it out to the garage. About 2:00 he'd gotten his old desk taken apart and all in the garage. Joye KK and I had emptied Ash's stuff out of Ava's room and had Aves bed and bookshelf back into her princess room by 3. Joye left about then--it was one of my most favorite days with her being here so far. More play than work. :)
Chris continued to do homework until dinner was ready about 6. He set it aside for dinner and at 7 was done studying for tomorrow's test. We went down to the basement where he then spent the next hour stapling in the insulation. We went through 3 more rolls. Looks like we'll need 4-5 more before the job is done. We took KK home about 8:30. It's now 10:30, and he's crawling into bed. So much for a day "off." Study, heavy lifting, more study, cleaning, more study, insulation, more study...he's amazing. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful beau. I'll have to arrange a REAL day off for him soon-

jigga--whaaaaaaaat

Today was my appointment.... 35 1/2 weeks along. Weight gain 24 pounds. Blood pressure great. Cervix still very far back and "firm" *squirm* let me just...wow...I totally forgot that
A.) I was far along enough to have the ol' cervix check
B.) That the ol' cervix check is so incredibly uncomfortable

Yeah, not really looking forward to this 3 more times...uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

annoying amount of whining

Ok I just want to say that...I don't remember hurting this badly with Ava--and I'm not even to the labor part.

How does the body and the mind forget this? I must document this so that if in 10-18 months I start thinking about doing this again...I have a "ARE YOU INSANE" moment.

The hips. Ok. Seriously. I cannot walk with any normalcy. Not only does my walk look painful, but like 98% of the time, it actually IS painful to walk. It feels like the ball/socket joint of my legs/hips is going to pop and my legs will be disconnected from my body. It's like instead of a smooth movement--it's GRINDING. The left leg...yeah can't handle it's portion of the weight, and the right leg is tired of lefty's laziness. Getting out of Chris's car is ........ redic, and almost impossible. It makes me want to hide in the house until the day of delivery.

I'm really scared that one of these days I'm going to get stuck in some odd position--hopefully dressed--and will need to call for help. Luckily, Ava is getting better at following directions. ha. there's always a facebook status...help. i'm stuck. please come rescue my child. hahahaaha and you'll come over and ava will have painted me a healthy unibrow out of mascara, sharpie and/or lipstick. She'll be ever so proud that she took such good care of mommy. Yes, that's how it will go down--like I said, the being dressed portion...is only if I'm lucky. It'll probably happen while I'm attempting to dress. awesome.

So, currently...that's the miserable attitude that I possess. I do not think that I will become anymore pleasant in the coming 3-4 weeks as I grow larger and less coordinated. *sigh* please tell me that the pain will subside after birth and I will be........better soon.

A man at a gas station in Morgan county on Sunday thought I was going to give birth in his store. Seriously. I have 4 more weeks buddy. But, wow. Thanks for the surge of self confidence.

I need to be blogging more. This is my only journal of this time of our lives. And yet, everytime I sit down, I find it impossible to archive positive moments. They escape my mind INSTANTLY. So tonight, I will delve.

So today, Ava and I watched movies. Winter is so long. Crap. negative thought. She also had a fun time playing makeup. Even after a bath and much scrubbing, she was quite done up. We went over to see Madison tonight. She and Ava haven't played much. I don't really like play dates in the winter. Snow=wet roads=wet pants=cold weather=sickness. This past week, though, I have been a little more liberal and given in to her need for interaction beyond me..and she has seen Hayden and Madison. She and Madison played dolls, and dress up and laughed while hiding in the closet. They are pretty silly together. I was worn out after an hour, and I was just watching them. At 8:30, I was so ready to pass out. I would have sworn it was 10. So I packed Aves up and headed back home. On my way over...the craving hit.

Hilary told me about this cereal...Oatmeal Crisp with Almonds. I devoured the first box in 2 days. So I knew I wouldn't have any at home. It took me about 30 minutes of being home before I caved and headed for the store. Walmart does not carry this cereal. They also don't carry Curves cereal. Seriously...get with it walmart! So, Winegars saved the day. I came home and ate a huge bowl with about 1/3 cup of fresh blueberries. ssoooooooooooooooo good!

I'm totally falling asleep at my computer desk. wow. Last night Chris was snoring and I was restless. Stressing about stupid things that don't matter. I should probably go to bed now, while he's downstairs...so that if he does snore tonight...I'll be too asleep *hopefully* to be bothered...mmmmmm good idea. night.

too much info...

So, when I had Ava, I was tremendously blessed with the ability to nurse her. I never knew that nursing was 1. difficult to learn and 2. some people don't produce milk. My grandmothers on both sides have stories of how they were "wet nurse" potential in their day. Some stories were just funny to me growing up, but I never put together what that might mean for when I had children. It turns out, I inherited this "gift." I made tons and tons and then even more milk. It was fortunate that I had 2 nephews close in age to Ava. Any time my side of the family got together I was in pain. I would sit in a room and just switch out babies to empty the milk. Sandi even bought me a really awesome breast pump and with that I was able to pump when Ava wasn't hungry and store it, or send it on to my nephews!
Well...here I am....5 weeks out from delivering Simon...and I feel myself filling already. I'm sure family get togethers--now on the Cope side--will be equally as fun this time around...

New baby Bryant is in the nicu. I don't have many details. I called mom today to see how Becca and baby were doing and she let me know they are monitoring him in the NICU for respiratory problems. He also has some blood sugar irregularities that they are tracking I guess. Please keep him in your prayers.

Everyday I'm reminded how fortunate we were with Ava, that she was born without issues. I grow all the more grateful for Dr. Lister's call to deliver her c-section when she did, so that she didn't have to spend any time in the NICU. With my nephews, Colton and now Bryant, I grow a little more anxious everday about Simon. Sometimes I think we forget what a miracle it is that mom and baby both make it through the entire pregnancy, and then the stress of labor and delivery. Even with the modern medicine, it's still pretty amazing. Count your many blessings!

Look Who Knows So Much

So Becca has her baby boy, Bryant today!!! She was due yesterday. She has been such a beautiful pregnant woman! Her doctor was going to let her go a WEEK!!! over her due date if necessary, and this, of course, had her very concerned. Becca is about 5'2 and pre-pregnancy all of 115 pounds soaking wet. At her most recent appointment, her doc merely laughed off her concerns, smugly remarking, that he's done this THOUSANDS of times, and the baby is about 7 pounds, no need to worry. Well, luckily, Bryant did come on his own, and only 1 day past her due date. He is 8 POUNDS 15 OUNCES. just shy, of 9 pounds. He sure showed that idiot doc! can you IMAGINE? If she had gone another week he could have been almost 10 pounds. I don't know how, but she pushed him out sucessfully. Chris and I will go see him later this week, once they are settled and out of the hospital. I'm so excited!!!