Friday, February 27, 2009


I wish there was a setting on here that allowed some postings to be private...because I really feel that this is one post that no one else will fully understand...
I was raised in a home...where there were very little "greys" in life. You do or you don't. Right or Wrong. I understand now...that life is mostly grey, and there is very little that really is...all or nothing. However, that being said...I have an incredibly strong stance on certain things in life. Things I do not bend from. Rules I do not break, or bend. It's worked wonders for almost 25 years, there must be something right to it. When I met Chris...I found out that he was raised to see the grey...and to fight for it. I have learned so much from him, thanks to this. We had several debates...and they continue to this day. Sometimes I wonder...if we'll ever be able to present a united front for our children. At some point, we have to come together ...for them. I'm scared that will never happen. And what that means for our kids. How can they know what is right...when we, their source of guidence...walk different paths? To many--the things we differ on may seem TRITE, SILLY, OBSOLETE, but to me...vital. And each time we come to this T in the road of breaks my heart that we walk different paths. I am so stubbornly passionate about very little in life, but the issues I do have passion for, I am immovable. What will this mean for our future as a family? So many questions...with answers that may never come...or come while we're too busy to take notice.


Blake said...

I think I can relate. I was raised in a home that would make Glen Beck look liberal. Not just politics but in life choices and things too.
I hold a lot of that with me also. After K and I have been talking a lot I have loosened on somethings but my overall principle still stays the same and inmovable as well.
It might not be the same as your experience but I can relate to it a bit too. So you are not alone.

P.S. you can always make another blog just for journal entries and set it private. :)

Blackeyedsue said...

I think so many couples deal with these types of issues, but we just don't know how to talk about it without seeming pious or condescending or feeling like we are betraying our spouse.

We differ in our marriage as well. I see things as gray and I am happy letting things be. J, on the other hand, sees things as black and white and fights for them.

I have just resolved that we are raising intelligent children who have been exposed to two different ideals, and while those ideals don't always coincide, our girls can make a choice...which is more than a lot of people can say. They can chose either of our ways or forge their own. Either way, we will be supportive of them and they will know that one way isn’t the only or even the best way and they can follow their hearts and the promptings of the spirit and do what is ultimately right for them. More importantly, we will love them no matter what.

On more than one occasion, one or both of us has had to walk away from a disagreement because we know that no resolution is to be had. It is the great conundrum of life. We sometimes talk about how hard it would be to marry outside of our religion because even within the confines of one religion, the differences can be so vast.

As a couple, sometimes just have to agree to disagree and love each other in spite of our differences.

If you ever need to talk, I have a listening ear. We may not agree, but I can listen without judging. (((HUGS))) to you Deborah.

Amanda said...

I totally know what you mean. Pete's family= super grey area. My family= monochromatic.

I think that we teach our children that it is OK to have different opinions. It's dangerous to raise children to think that there is only one way to look at a situation (even if that's how we feel about some things...) It's wonderful that your children will see that you can disagree with someone and still love them very much.


Leah said...

I think you are overlooking an important advantage you may give your children. I came from a black and white family, stanch and strong, but I embrace every and all hues whatever color. My point is a united front does not lead to children carrying on that flag. Besides if you both stay true to who you each are as individuals you are teaching AJ and the impending that it is ok to love and be true to themselves! That even if there are varying view points it doesn't mean someone is right and wrong. That it is important to make your own choices for your own life. Plus compromise is vital in a happy life, showing that you and Copec are willing to bend on issues and pick the battles that truly matter is a lesson that every person, let alone kiddo, should learn.

Plus remember the choices he makes and differences from yourself are why you picked him right?!

daiseymae said...

I saw a portion of a movei lastnight at GNO (wish I could have seen the whole thing) The main focus of this movie was to find that perfect love that despite our diffrences can withstand the trials that come our way.

I believe this perfect love is a gift we are given from our Father in Heaven but only if we diligently strive for it. You don't have to agree with a person to love them with your whole heart and your children will see that love and strive for it in their life.

I agree with Steph in that, whatever diffrences you and your spouse have on a particular issue,your kids will be able to make their own educated decisions based on the principles they are taught and the influence of the spirit in their life.

Teach them how to pray and to recognize(and follow)the answers they recieve, and they will be just fine. Has the Lord ever steered you down the wrong path?
It is only when I don't follow His council that I make the wrong choice. Good luck... Keep the Faith.

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