Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolving to...

  • Not get pregnant in 2011. I know this may seem odd, but if you break it down, I've had a pregnancy every other year. In 2006 April, I found out we were pregnant with Ava. In Sept of 2007, I had a miscarriage due to an IUD coming out of place. In the summer of 2008, we found out we were pregnant with Simon, after a 2nd miscarriage. I had Simon in 2009--so clearly, I was pregnant in 2009. 2010, miscarriage at 12 weeks, carried the baby for almost 2 full weeks before finding out it was no longer growing. I'm still recovering from this on a variety of levels. So dear 2011, let's be pregnant free. Let's give the old body and mind and heart some down time to recover from the mess of hormones. Let's have birth control that actually functions. This is #1. This is vital. I know, I know...Mindy talked about September that we could all do another pregnancy together, but...I'm not sure I could bare it if I lost another pregnancy, and had to watch my sister-in-laws progress in theirs. I'm going through that now. It sucks. A lot. It's like a constant reminder that something went wrong with my baby. Not that I was ready to have her, but it's still incredibly difficult to experience. March cannot come soon enough. So, good luck to you in the fall ladies, but I am 99% positive, I'll be sitting this one out.
  • Being honest about when I'm in over my head, and to ask for help. I spent a good amount of 2010 literally crazy. Chemically imbalanced, and thought I could just 'deal.' It took me a pregnancy, and losing that pregnancy to realize that I cannot do it all. So, if I tell you, no, or I ask for's because I'm at my max of what sanity allows. I want to be a happy and sane person for my kids and my husband and for myself. My kids are in daycare 3 days a week. A place I never wanted them to be. But they are happy there. I am happier here-from what others have told me. It gives me a break from 'mom.' It gives them an environment that allows them to be as creative and social as they desire. It's not for forever, but for now. I can still multitask, but choose to keep it to a minimum, so that I allow focus to actually exist.
If I can keep those, then 2011 will be full of other resolutions of less importance. I, of course, have a million other things, growing my photography knowledge and skills, learning to cook food I actually like eating, working out on a regular basis again...but I figure those will come if I can keep the other two goals strong. A trip to PA in the spring, and one in the fall for shorty's wedding. This will be a great year.

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